Tonight, I felt rather sorry for myself. This is not myself, I’ve not been like this before. I have learnt to appreciate whatever I have, but tonight, I couldn’t for this one matter.
I am twenty this year, I was never really allowed to go to any concerts or any celebrity events, things like that. Especially when it’s at night. I’ve been to two shows, David Archuleta’s showcase in the afternoon and MTV WorldStage, the one where Justin Bieber came. Both times with adult supervision. I’ve had tickets for an event but still I didn’t attend.
I get it why I’m not allowed to go alone, the safety in Malaysia is not the best and in the big events, there are lots of people. Reason two is transportation. Which makes everything so difficult. Lastly, these event tickets can be quite pricy.
But tonight, I saw this advertisement on the Race Start autograph session in Paradigm, this doesn’t require money, of course there is no guarantee that I would actually see the Running Man stars. If I have not mentioned, I’m a huge Running Man fan.
I’ve known for a while now that they’re coming here for the event. Some of the members have been here before this but I didn’t tell anyone that I wanted to go because like always, I wouldn’t be able to go and it’s expensive, and transportation issues. So I never said anything even though I would like to go to an event. (Regarding on me driving, that’s a whole other story for another time.)
After that advertisement, I burst out into tears. Silent tears. By the time my mum and sister realise I had already stopped crying then they asked me what happened then I started crying again. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I don’t ask for much, I just want to go to Paradigm to see if I have a chance to even just have a glance at them. Even if I don’t, I know I tried. It’s enough for me.
This might be such a childish thing but right now to me, it means something. I don’t like this feeling. In fact, I hate it.